In the continuing quest to find odd new avenues of blog fodder, we present the following item: pre-digested news presented in quick hits with valid, insightful commentary. Enjoy!
Al Franken has finally won in the endless cavalcade of challenges to claim Minnesota’s second senate seat. Some deride him for his lack of political experience and his former career as a comic. But in reality, this positions him uniquely as the only senator with the experience needed to poke fun at his own legislative record. Ironically, though, there were 14 reporters covering this story locally, but with budget cuts, now that Franken heads to Washington, there will only be two reporters from any state news agency in D.C.
Hockey is now the official sport of the State of Minnesota. I know, big surprise. They might as well have gone on to say that Winter is the dominant season here. But, on the upside, it does enable us to say this: “Ya hear that, Brett Favre? Nobody cares about you. Or the Vikings.”
Michael Jackson is still dead. Continuous coverage on all cable news channels will continue unabated.
General Mills’ profit jumped 94% largely due to increased sales of Cheerios, as that’s all anyone can afford to feed their families anymore. Well, apparently that and Yoplait. Mmm…Yogurt and Cheerios, the breakfast of champions. And French babies.
Karl Malden died today. Known to one generation for his role in The Streets of San Francisco, and to another generation as “that American Express guy,” he always came across as one tough dude. Now in heaven, he’s looking at Michael Jackson and asking: “Who the hell are you?”
BBC News Magazine gives a 13-year-old a 30 year old walkman for him to review and compare to his MP3 player. Best line ever: “It took me three days to figure out that there was another side to the tape.” In another revelation, the kid learns that before WiFi, there used to be these things called modems and before that, newspapers.
As the economy continues it’s long slow decline, stories like these prepare us for the day when we might need to drive an old jalopy. Yes, how to drive a Model-T is vital information. Does it tell you how to tune the radio, too?
Breaking news: Steve Jobs has returned to work on a part-time basis following his liver transplant. Now when he wakes up, he hears the happy “bong” as it starts up. He’s living in constant fear of the “sad Mac” morning, though.
This just in from CNN: Michael Jackson is still dead, and will be our lead story until Obama either starts smoking in public again or orders someone shot. Honestly, can’t we move on? I mean, honestly, it’s not like there was a coup this week in Latin America or anything. Oh, wait…There was! But there still isn’t a single story about it on CNN’s front page.
Finally, most states have started new fiscal years today, and California leads the way into shaky financial territory by paying its debts in IOUs (post-dated checks). The Governator is ordering the meticulous shakedown of all couches in the state in search of spare change. They’re also seeking to sell Oakland and Fresno, but with the current real estate market, they can’t expect to get much more than pennies on the dollar for the fixer-uppers.
There you go, you’re all up-to-date on the news.
See you tomorrow.