The Eclectic Mix

Jenni says…

Well, it seems I haven’t been fully informative to my family and friends. And I’m sure you are always spending time thinking about me.

What I’m talking about is my knee, of course. So here’s the update: I have a lateral meniscus tear in my left knee. Basically that means the cartilage in my knee is torn. Because cartilage has no blood vessels, it will never heal. Instead, it will flap in the breeze (well, there is no breeze in my knee, but you get the idea…) and irritate the inside of my knee keeping me from walking and never getting better. So instead they go in arthroscopically (three little holes, one for a camera, one for a grabber and one for a clipper) and trim the cartilage down. I wonder if I get a video of the procedure…

Anyway, I should be able to walk on it the same day, but I will probably use crutches for 3-4 days to help. Then I will start physical therapy which will probably last several months, at least.

My surgery is scheduled for Friday, Oct. 24. I’ve managed to get that Sunday off so I will have three days before I have to do anything, which will be a nice break. My sweet husband will be taking Friday off to shuffle me back and forth for the surgery, and probably getting me lots of things so I don’t have to get up.

Any way, just thought I’d let you know. Prayers and good thoughts are welcome.

Jenni says…

My mom sent the following to me the other day. I think it contains some very important advice* for all of us!

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.  

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! … Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?  

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape! 

* The Electic Mix does not nor has it ever claimed to be a solid, fact-based medical site. Our advice here is simply our own thoughts. While we are pretty much usually right about everything, if you get unhealthy from our advice, it’s not our fault. You probably did something wrong. Complain to your doctor, not us.