Where You’re From

Good thing I waited to write about this, because it just got better…Last night as I was struggling to find something to write about, she suggested the Bachmann thing.


Michele Bachmann doesn’t know where she’s from. Maybe even where she is at any given moment, too…


You’ll recall that during her thankfully brief presidential run, she congratulated New Hampshire as being the place where the American revolution began–at Lexington and Concord…Which are, of course, in Massachusetts.


Or remember that she got the locations of her John Waynes confused: the actor was born in Winterset, Iowa, but John Wayne Gacy grew up in Waterloo.


You’ll recall that, in spite of several years serving portions of Minnesota both in the state legislature and then as a representative in congress, she chose to launch her campaign in Iowa, the state of her birth. Though maybe that was OK: we could blame them for who she is.


So some of you might be able to cut her a little slack in the geography department. After all, it’s hard to be that smart and still know where you are.


But in spite of her directional challenges, Bachmann this week announced that she had taken on dual citizenship from Switzerland. In the story I read, it all sounded innocent but stupid: her husband either is a Swiss citizen or is eligible for citizenship because his parents live in the world’s most neutral country, so the whole crazy Bachmann clan jumped all over that bandwagon. But why?


Who the hell knows….


All of this made many Minnesotans ask the question of whether she can then leave and go drive the Swiss crazy, but that speculation may have been short-lived, as she announced today that she has asked to withdraw her citizenship in order to “make it perfectly clear: I was born in America, and I am a proud American citizen.”


There’s that part of me that’s wondering who reconsidered this idea first: Bachmann or Switzerland? Swiss consulate: Um…have you read about this lady? She’s nuts! Let’s burn her application! What? We can’t? They’re out already? Ah, dammit…


Even better, Bachmann told the Swiss media that it was her kids’ idea to take on the dual citizenship. There’s nothing lake backpedaling quickly from an idea in an election year and blaming your kids. I can see the debate line now: “My kids made me do it! They just wanted the chocolate…And yodeling lessons! It’s all their fault! I love America!”


I’ve really gotta start throwing my kids under the bus for stupid things I do. And for now, the only dual citizenship I’ll claim is living in Minneapolis and working in Columbia Heights. I just don’t need the pressure…


See you tomorrow.