The Lighter Side

Okay, kids. The drugs finally kicked in and I can blog about something besides my once fungus-infused nose.

No, seriously…

Saturday’s “World Naked Gardening Day,” which just starts raising a whole bunch of both necessary and unnecessary questions. But, enjoy the link I gave you there, because the official website for this movement is…um…disturbing. But I will share some of the headlights…er…highlights:

When you’re out there with a gentle breeze on you, every last hair on your body feels it. You feel completely connected with the natural world in a way you just can’t in clothes.

I’m sure it does, because God knows, I’m looking for a fresh breeze up my butt as I’m weeding the garden. But the site, which tells us proudly that this is the sixth year of the event, wants to help make it easy for you and is offering the following suggestion:

So what should you do? First of all, on May 14, 2011 find an opportunity to get naked and do some gardening. Do so alone, with friends, with family, with your gardening club, or with any other group collected for that purpose. Do it inside your house, in your back yard, on a hiking trail, at a city park, or on the streets. Stay private or go public. Make it a quiet time or make it a public splash. Just get naked and make your part of the botanical world a healthier and more attractive place.

Secondly, tell someone about your experience. No one owns this event, so it does not really matter whom you tell, but tell someone . Tell your friends about your day of naked gardening; write down what you thought of it and email it to your local newspaper…

Sweet mother of…Tell your local newspaper? Yes, I’m sure that they really want to spend a cool day around here coming to an event with a bunch of naked people gardening…It doesn’t really seem to bring the words photo op to mind. I’ll leave you all out there to find the site on your own if you’re so inclined…Though you have been warned. And if you take part, don’t tell me about it. We’ll all be happier that way.

This story makes me sad. The short of it is this: the White House is going to stop staging a reenactment of the president’s speech so that the still photographers can get their shots. I mean, how are we supposed to trust the integrity and solemnity of a speech if we can’t trust that the still photos presented later were taken at a staged second reading of a portion of the speech that the president just gave? This just destroys every image I have about our government and elected leaders being transparent and trustworthy…Oh, wait… It does make you wonder, though, how awkward the scene is: the president has already finished reading the speech to the nation, and now, with a small gaggle of still photographers around him, he starts reading a few lines so they can get their Pulitzer shot, to be used on the cover of Time or the Times, or in the swimsuit issue of SI. It would be funnier if he was reading the comics there instead of the speech. Or maybe that’s what the president should read to us instead of the speech. There we go.

And finally, a news story that makes me ask whether this is an indictment of vegetarians, Russians, or Vladimir Putin? Or maybe it’s just Canadians being stupid for actually publishing a report on it. I think I’ll go for that one.

See you tomorrow.